June 29th, 2009 
admin Several weeks ago, I repealed a personal law: Thou shalt not run. Although what I do may not look like real running to some, believe me, compared to my movement beforehand this is definitely more than a walking pace. The reason I am broadcasting this is to underscore the importance of “never say never”.
Was this an inspired act or simply temporary insanity? It was a little of both, I suppose, but now this running business is starting to take hold on a regular basis, with me placing running shoes and socks in a reminder spot by the kitchen door. I no longer wonder whether homo sapiens were ever intended for this activity.
My never intended but sudden urge to pick up the pace was in response to literally tripping over a long lost friend at a high school reunion. In a single afternoon’s conversation, she inspired me to think differently about a lot of things, including enjoying the capabilities of my aging body, going beyond my original intentions.
Up to that time, I had been gradually getting stronger over a period of months, picking up speed while enjoying the benefits of better sleep and appreciated “think time” out on the path. Instead of begrudging the time slot as I originally had, I now looked forward to it. A shift in mindset was taking place; the positive was bumping out the negative.
One evening , a funny thing happened; my pace was a little quicker than usual, I was feeling good and almost before I realized what was happening, I had trotted a quarter of a mile. I was heading into new and exciting territory.
I was rushing to grab a soda at my high school reunion when I foolishly fell over the foot rest of someone’s wheel chair. Pulling myself back together and apologizing profusely, I looked into the face of my old girlhood friend, Sherry B. Her grin was as generous as ever and so was her demeanor. We warmed to each other as though little more than a couple of months had passed since we had last seen each other, not the actual decades.
Of course, we had both changed but Sherry’s transformation was the most remarkable on so many levels. A Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis in her early twenties had made a deep physical impact but she was also now a profound philosopher as I was about to find out.
With the same spunk she’d had as a teenager, Sherry told me about her family and her life in general, which included an unexpected but frank discussion of managing incontinence. She heard me mention that I did some work for an adult diapers supplier and she let me know we were on some common ground. She told me of how she grappled with the realization that incontinence was going to be a fact of her life not long after getting her last baby out of his own diapers. Still the die-hard country music fan as she always was, Sherry told me that she kept a Dolly Parton quote on her fridge door: “We cannot change the direction of the wind, but we can adjust the sails.” “So,” she said, “I have been busy taking sailing lessons.”
Any of that half empty glass philosophy I had been embracing was embarrassed right out of me. I was aging normally and even had some genetic inheritance that was naturally holding a number of unpleasant possibilities at bay. Yet I could be aggravated by an ill timed sneeze that threatened to send me to the changing room. That is a far cry from needing adult diapers but it is a gentle reminder of what a short trip that could be for some.
Sherry’s incontinence was disease induced at an early age; women in my healthy condition have to blame it on the deteriorating muscle tone that comes with aging. Such is the lot of the female anatomy; tiny little bladder sphincters that keep the dam from bursting. Women’s lifelong accumulated stresses from childbearing, impact exercise (yes, running is one of them) and aging can all work against maintaining bladder control. Adult diapers are certainly not every woman’s eventual destiny, but of the 25 million Americans who experience occasional or chronic urinary incontinence, almost 80 percent are women. With numbers like that, it is important for a growing number of our population to be taking Sherry’s sailing lessons and develop healthy coping attitudes.
I “see” Sherry daily on FaceBook these days. We have promised each other to not lapse into any long silences like the one before the reunion. I told her I credit her with my new foray into running and she gets a laugh out of that. I have a technique that lifts me up when I think I am not going to be able to finish the trot for that day because I feel too winded. When I am sure of my footing, I tilt my head back and watch the clouds. My airways open fully and my mind is freed from thinking about the remaining distance. I told Sherry about this on FB and she sent back some punchy advice: “Set your sails and catch the wind. And remember to invest in a good sports bra.
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